Little Things

A not so little thing, is that Dave and I are leaving for a river trip this afternoon and will be gone, sans children for five whole days. Five whole days also sans phones and internet access. I plan on coming back refreshed and rejuvenated. Looking forward to it! I'll return calls and emails when I get back next week.

Some little things I never want to forget...his trademark curls and trademark smile.

How is he growing up so fast?

"There are no little things.
"Little things" are the hinges of the universe."

- Fanny Fern

Officially Declaring a START OVER

Dear June 25th,

i am declaring a start over now at 11:15 a.m. i am going to forget that by 6:45 a.m. this morning hanna had an accident and peed all over the couch and that a neighbor walked into my house unannounced and saw me in my morning glory and christian in his birthday suit. i'm going to move past feeling grumpy and hormonal and impatient. i'm not going to focus on the fact that dave left town and i am not feeling up to the challenge of mothering alone for 3 days. i'm going to stop thinking about the fact that i'm dreading putting on a swim suit on my river trip next week because i am feeling so blah about my body.

yes, i'm starting over and am going to focus on things that make me smile, make me feel calm, and inspire me. and i'm going to look forward to the rest of what you will offer.

just wanted to let you know so we can be on the same page.

thanks,
crystalyn

p.s. and now i'm going to go have a bite of chocolate.

can you believe...

i carried my camera around all day and didn't use it, so i left it at home when we went to this little shindig. which meant that when i saw this magic light and flare, all i had was my phone. sigh.

back up, back up, back up

you know you've heard it a million times. back up. things can go wrong. back up. well, i listened and i back up. and tonight i'm so grateful because things went wrong. files corrupted. i couldn't open things. and it was my external hard drive!!

soooo, in walks time machine. i heart time machine. seriously. LOVE it. i heart it almost as much as i heart my hubs who set it up for me to be able to go back and back and back until i can pull the file just before it corrupted and still use it. and all is restored again.

thanks time machine.

and thanks husband. i heart you the very most.

Heart at Work

I should be working tonight and getting things done...crossing off that list. But I have to take a moment and breathe. Breathe down deep. I recognize my heart needs a moment. As it's been hard at work for the last little while. Probably longer than I realize, as sometimes it's hard for me to let myself go there - deep - when the busyness of life requires me to be in the thick of that.

I find it hard to write about things like this...the thoughts run around in my mind and as soon as I sit down to type, my fingers freeze and I forget. My heart still feels, yet somehow the thoughts in my mind hide and other thoughts replace them. Thoughts about what someone might think if they read. I've come along way about caring what others think. But still. The deep, down parts of me are quite timid.

Tonight, I stumbled on these words...

"Once you get over the fear, then it's a cinch," she said.
And then she leaped into a mountainous and unexplored region of her heart."

- Monique Duval

So I'm leaping. I'm holding onto the bit of courage I have to just write and try to sift through some of what rolling around inside me.

I know my heart is hard at work when I feel. Really feel. Feel really happy, and tender, and even a bit sad, sometimes all at once. The tears flowed on Sunday and brought about one of the best talks Dave and I have had in a long time. How I love him and am grateful for him. Monday was a happy feeling day. Today I feel tender. So moved by the things that have come my way...words, thoughts, people. My heart feels full, grateful, and ready to burst.

To burst with what? I'm not quite sure. I have been thinking about the giving in life. I want to give more of myself. And yet, I can't quite figure out the specifics of it all because when I try to nail those down I find myself stumped on what I would actually have to give. So I'm trying to break free from the continuous motion of life enough to listen and feel the moments as they come. I have to believe as I do that, that I will feel what I can give in that moment.

I keep working to be more open. Just more giving of myself...my experiences. More courageous to share instead of holding things so tightly and carefully. It's so my nature to be careful. To do it right. To hold back the imperfections. And oh my! are there imperfections.

Yes, this region of my heart is a bit unexplored and definitely mountainous. At times hard to climb...a bit steep, a bit rocky. But the view promises to be beautiful. And I long to see more.

WANTED

Women who want to get fit...

Women who want to get together and support each other in their fitness goals...

Women who want to have a personal trainer teach them about proper eating and proper exercise techniques...

Women who want to learn how to eat to make your metabolism work for you (instead of the other way around) all without being hungry...

Women who want recipes and menus each week from a personal trainer that will help them achieve their fitness goals...

If you're interested in any or all of the above, you're in luck. My sister Brynnly, who is a personal trainer and fitness consultant has decided to work with a small group of women in helping them achieve their fitness goals.

She is organizing a group to get together and learn about your metabolism, what and how to eat, how to workout, how to perform exercises. She will help you tailor a fitness program for your goals, and will also be available to answer your questions and help you stay motivated to accomplish what you want.

If you would like find out more about what she's doing or be a part of her group, email her at brynnly@gmail.com for details.

Can you believe how much we look alike? I know, I know she looks so much stronger than I am (well, because she is), but other than that, it's like we're twins! Ha!

Those Two...

this morning on the way to school.

"How come the sun keeps following me?" Hanna asks as she squints and covers her eyes with her hands.

"It's not following us. The earth is just ORBINATING around it." As he reaches over and helps cover her eyes.

Some pictures just have to be taken with your heart.

Sigh. I love them so.